23 February, 2006 - 12:18 a.m.
Have been off work for a month, stopped taking lithium before christmas and cut down carbamazepine, was fine for a few weeks and then felt awful.
Back to feeling blank a lot of the time and then guilty for feeling blank. I feel a lot of the time that I could pull myself out of it if I only made enough effort. I also know that this isn't true. I managed work well from april-jan and it wasn't a big effort, I remember having excited conversations with people saying how much I love work and how each shift flies by.
Honestly in that time I only had one or two shifts where I clock-watched and mostly I was bouncing with energy. So this shows me that it's not my fault. It might have been rash to have stopped my meds so suddenly but that's done now.
Spending my days asleep a lot and listening to the radio, difficult to stay upright. Cut my leg on 12th feb and needed 23 stitches and some internal stitches, the wound isn't healing that well and is weeping a bit.
Therapy is going well.
